The Differently Abled...

Deepa Malik, India’s paraplegic swimmer champion

I don’t believe there exist  ‘disabled people’ on earth. My experience and understanding have taught me that there are only ‘differently abled’ people on earth who have their own ways of doing things.

A person may not have hands yet, he learns to do everything by himself. Someone may have only one leg, but he either finds a vulcanized leg to pair up or learns things the hard way. But there is one common thing about this broad genre of people. They all understand and have something in common which we may never even get close to. They understand the importance of loss and more importantly, they learn how to make this loss their biggest strength. 

Taking a very recent example of Arunima Sinha; she was thrown out of a moving train and got both her legs cut. She was crippled for life but rose to the occasion and has scaled 6 highest peaks of the world. She is not aiming for the highest peak in Antarctica. She has set the bar higher than most of the ‘normal’ people would imagine. The loss and pain she suffered have made her the toughest mountain climber there ever was.

The other very interesting aspect of the differently abled is that they achieve a heightened sense of their working senses or body parts. Some call it the 6th sense. Some try and explore the scientific explanations behind these changes. But the way I understand this is that they don’t think about what not working. Instead, they focus their energies on how they can make everything else work. Blind women are some the best listeners. They trust in themselves more than an average person can even dream of. Deaf and dumb are the most caring and expressive. A man with paralysed lower body develops immense upper body strength capable of carrying multiple people. And being a dancer, I can assure you that differently abled people understand music and dance better than everyone else.

Be it some restaurants hiring only the differently abled, “Planet Abled” starting travel services or our PM calling them “Divyang” instead of “Viklang”, today people are making efforts to understand that differently abled are just unique members of our family. In our monotonous lives, we are stuck in the cobwebs of jobs, our needs and responsibilities. We fail to do anything that we were once passionate about. But our differently abled friends decide on something and then pursue it with full dedication and passion. They make sure they raise the bar and become the strongest versions of themselves.

I grew up in a middle-class family and learnt things the hard way. I took risks, failed, got back up and failed again. I still fail quite a few times. But my daily inspiration and moral boost to never lose hope is my grandmother. I have never seen her grab a glass of water in one go because of extremely poor eyesight. She suffers from incurable corneal detachment. But this never came in her way of supporting the family in the best possible manner. As a child, I often tried closing my eyes and walking around the house imitating my grandmother. 30 seconds of blindness used to send shivers down my spine. Today, I get goosebumps at the thought of it. On the other hand is my grandmother who not only takes care of herself but everyone in the family. She is more alert and energetic throughout the day than anyone else in the family. Her sense of hearing is the greatest I have ever come across.

If you try and experience the life of differently abled without being one, you might end up losing sight of what is real because of the shock and impact. It’s only through loss that one can understand the importance of what he has. Differently abled have such interesting and passionate lives that most of us only dream of living. They are truly special and beyond compare.

"कमज़ोर मत समझ खुद को
उठ एक बार फ़िर
दुनिया कदम चूमती है उन्के
जिनके हौसलों के आगे शिखर भी सिर झुकाते हैं|"

Stay Behind, Stay Alone and be a Leader

Stay Behind, Stay Alone and be a Leader

One day a group of families was crossing a forest with their strongest and wisest member leading from the front. A few old men were finding it hard to keep up the pace. The canopy of trees was impenetrable as it became darker towards the hours of dusk. Suddenly they hear an eerie howl in the distant wilderness. Sensing danger, the leader asked the group to increase their pace. Meanwhile, a small pack of wolves attacked them from the back. The leader and a few strong men rushed back only to find their trailing members gone forever. The silence was broken by earth-shattering cries. Members went missing from the front end. They now moved closer to each other inching towards a distant cave for shelter. But the damage was done.

What went wrong? Was it the leader’s wrong decisions? Were the wolves too smart for him to tackle? Or, was the leader not prepared to handle such a situation?

This is the state of our entrepreneurs. A recent study “Entrepreneurial India” by IBM Institute of Business Value and Oxford Economics states that 90% of Indian start-ups fail in the first 5 years. Most common reason for failure is lack of innovation. For a moment, let us look at the bright side of all these failures and understand what we can learn from them. 

So, why is this happening? We definitely don’t lack the brains (after all we are Indians, being brainy is considered obvious) or the resources. But we lack the experience of fire-fighting situations, taking instant or effective decisions. We do hope for the best but we fail to plan for the worst. 

Let us now talk about wolves. They always move in a fixed formation. The oldest stay in front and set the pace lest they be left behind. Next are a few strongest members of the pack ready to defend any attack from the front. They are followed by rest of the pack. Final few members are again the strongest ready to defend any attack from the back. Finally, the leader walks last making sure no one is left behind. He is the most cautious and takes decisions immediately when needed.

Why so Serious Son?

Why so Serious Son?

Who do you like more - Jay and Veeru or Gabbar? I will give you an easier option - Batman or Joker?

For me, the antagonist wins by clean sweep. But, all my hero loving friends will agree that if the so called "Negative Characters" were not present in these mind numbing movies, our heroes would not have become so special and worth of our admiration.

Still don't believe me? A person who has never cried will probably never understand how special it is to laugh. Someone who has not hated anyone can never love unconditionally.

What we consider "Bad" is essential to make us realize the importance of "Good". Opposite values are complimentary to each other.

Most of us who have tried something very hard and failed have often been in despair for long. But have we ever realized what is despair. Wordweb defines it as 'A state in which all hope is lost'. But is it really so. I am the optimist kind. Let's look at it from another angle, let's define it again.

Despair is a situation where in nothing more can go bad (it already is worse), more importantly it is thus a situation where you can start again with nothing to lose! 

A little long for definition but I hope it conveys the meaning. When everything goes our way, we are never really hopeful for something great. The comfort zone kicks in. But only in despair we understand the importance and power of being hopeful. Use this situation to your advantage. When people throw stones at you, you can either keep getting hurt or, you use the same stones and make a shield.

When life gives you shit, turn it into compost...

P.S (please start loving the bad guys...they are bad, but not that bad ;-)

You should go and Love yourself :-*

You should go and Love yourself (be a little wild this time)...

There is an old saying “The journey is more important than the destination”. You get to learn a lot more and it helps you understand the importance of each step. No matter how important, but it does sound boring to today’s generation. Let me make it a little interesting and naughty.

How many times have you got intimate with your own thoughts? The craving you have for that special feeling can make you go crazy. Hold your horses everyone. You really don’t need to take things literally every single time.

Ever wondered why sportsmen warm up before they play a match? They practice and toil hard day and night to put up their best performance. Ask any champion what set him apart and he won’t stop talking about all those injuries, sleepless nights and hard work that made him rise above the rest. Ask a dancer about his preparations and you come across the most excruciating pain endured throughout the practice sessions (personally, stretching kills me every single time; I won’t recommend my dance classes for the faint-hearted). 

“I don’t fear a man who has practiced 10000 moves 1 time each. But I fear the man who has practiced 1 move 10,000 times.” – Bruce Lee

Be it Muhammad Ali practicing punches under water, Karoly Takacs taking aim with his wrong arm and winning Olympic Gold (he lost his right shooting hand because of a bomb explosion), Bruce Lee doing thumb push-ups or Roger Federer putting in more than 10000 hours of practice; all champions have this in common. Every time they wore their armour, they were intimate with their thoughts. To put it in simpler words, they were one with themselves. Their mind body and soul worked as one to make them the greatest in the history.

This is what “foreplay” does to you. Foreplay is the subtle build-up necessary to prepare you for the main event. It is your sweat, determination and hard work which makes you fight and claim what is yours. This can make you into a daring beast, an unbeatable machine capable of not only challenging the status quo and proving all the myths wrong but also being the champion everyone looks up to.

What you think you become. So, play with yourself a little. Love yourself more. Get intimate with yourself to the extent you gain control over every single muscle and thought (even literally if required ;-)). Train your mind and it will command your body to achieve feats you have never imagined.

Taking inspiration from the poem “कुछ काम किया, कुछ इश्क़ किया” by Piyush Mishra

“वह काम भला क्या काम हुआ, जिसमें रातों की नींद हराम न हो

वह जुनून भला क्या जुनून हुआ, जिसमें शिद्दत का जाम न हो

वह काम भला क्या काम हुआ, जिसका मुकाम मिलना आसान हो

वह इश्क़ भला क्या इश्क़ हुआ, जिसमें प्यार, बिना छेड़कानी के हो

वह काम भला क्या काम हुआ, जिसमें वक्त में खोने का मौका न हो

और वह चाह भला क्या चाह हुई, जिसमे हसरतों का बोझ न हो|“

मेरा पहला पहला प्यार है ये....

मेरा पहला पहला प्यार है ये....

साँवली सी रात हो, खामोशी का साथ हो
अनकही सी गुफ़्तगू, अनसुनी सी जुस्तजू
बिन कहे, बिन सुने बात हो तेरी- मेरी....

ये अल्फ़ाज़ सुनकर आँखें नम कर लेता हूँ
चारदीवारी में खुद को बंद कर लेता हूँ
अकेले बैठे- बैठे यादों में खो जाता हूँ
कहते हैं पहले प्यार का अलग नशा होता है
दूर भी नहीं जा सकते, भुला भी नहीं सकते

लेकिन मेरा पहला प्यार मेरे लिए ज़िन्दगी से बढ़कर था

आज भी याद है वो शाम
जब आखिरी बार तुमसे मिला था
मिलकर रोते- रोते गले लगाया था
वादा करा था तुमने कि मिलने आओगी
भूले बिसरे कभी दरवाज़ा खटखटाओगी
लेकिन पलकें बिछाए इंतज़ार में
रास्ते की तरह देखता रह गया मैं

अब आलम यह है कि
गीले कागज़ की तरह हो गई है ज़िन्दगी
कोई लिखता भी नहीं, कोई जलाता भी नहीं
कोई सताता भी नहीं, कोई मनाता भी नहीं

जी करता है सब छोड़कर तुम्हारे पास आ जाऊँ
और तुमसे लिपट कर ढेर सारा प्यार करूँ
लेकिन तुम बहुत दूर चली गईं माँ
जाते- जाते दुनिया के लिए जीना सिखा गई
लेकिन तेरे बिना जीना ना सीख पाया माँ


अब तो बस
एक आखिरी बार
तरसता हूँ तुम्हारी गोद में सोने के लिए
तुम्हारे हाथों से खाना खाने के लिए


माँ
तुमसे ही प्यार करना है
तुमसे ही दिल लगाना है
तुम्हारे प्यार का ये दिल
दीवाना था, दीवाना है
तुमसे ही प्यार करना है।

The Middle Man!

The Middle Man

For a change, let's talk about a fantasy world today. I have another secret to share today. How about becoming an indispensable part of an organisation or any in anything you do? मन में लडडू फूटा?

Let's keep this thought aside for a while.

Ever wondered, that the most powerful thing in life is hardly ever noticed - air. It's all around us, bridges every single gap of life. Are you prepared to become the unnoticed cogwheel on which the whole machinery depends. Let's take a very basic and daily life example. There is a small 3 letter word in English with unfathomable power. Within a split second, it can turn around the meaning of the sentence. The person using this word has the power to transform lives. We never pay attention to this word.

I am talking about "But".

He was at the pinnacle of success but was more lonely than ever.

John was completely broke but was the finest painter in Europe.

Just a small word making the world of a difference. Coming back to the "मन का लड्डू", be the middleman without whom even a leaf in the organisation cannot be moved and you will never forget the taste of power. What I mean is, don't expect anything in return for what you do and see your life transform.

Look at the picture above. The chipmunk (I hope I got the animal right) hanging from the branch and holding his friend has the power to make or break the moment. And he knows he is not even getting the girl. Yes, he hangs in there.

Be like air, hardly noticed but crucial for life.

"ज़िंदगी भर सारा भार कील सहती रही,

लेकिन लोग तारीफ़ तस्वीर की ही करते रह गए।"

जब से देखा, मैंने तुझको, मुझको, शायरी आ गई

जब से देखा, मैंने तुझको, मुझको, शायरी आ गई

Transformation which has a simple meaning is our go to word for motivation. Most of us would have seen videos or read about athletes, business men/women or other inspirational legends. Through hard work over the years, they transformed their lives. All of us know about the God like near perfect bodies of Arnold Schwarzenegger or Dwayne Jhonson aka The Rock. We can imagine how long it took them to get transformed into icons.

This is the normal way of looking at things. But since I stand out of the crowd (being short, you can find me perched on some pedestal to make sense of what is going on), I have a different take on this.

“मैं शायर तो नहीं, मगर ऐ हसीन

जब से देखा, मैंने तुझको, मुझको

शायरी आ गई!

मैं आशिक तो नहीं, मगर ऐ हसीन

जब से देखा, मैंने तुझको, मुझको

आशिकी आ गई!”

या फिर

“गुलाबी आँखें जो तेरी देखीं

शराबी ये दिल हो गया

संभालो मुझको ओ मेरे यारों

संभलना मुश्किल हो गया|”

या फिर

“प्यार हमें किस मोड़ पे ले आया

ये दिल करे हाय, कोई ये बताए क्या होगा|”

This is what I call Transformation. This is what a girl can do to you (heartfelt emotions especially for my mechanical engineering brothers). Now please don’t start searching for beautiful girls/boys for your transformation.

What I am trying to convey is, think outside the box. Just 1 moment is enough to change your life. Every decision you take needs a split second and transforms you forever. No matter how much time you ponder upon the possibilities, but the moment you decide, that very moment you transform into a new individual.

लेकिन, जब कोई भी चीज़ आसानी से मिल जाए, तो उसकी कद्र नहीं होती|

This is where the ‘Twist’ kicks in. The Important part is not to just transform but to maintain and grow with the transformation. Even a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly but it does not stay there. It grows and perfects its flying. Everyone gets opportunities to transform their lives but only a few build on it. Are you brave enough to be accountable for your decisions? Do you have the courage to bear the pain and sweat it out in the arena? Because if you are brave enough, then you are bound only by your thoughts. 

Go out, decide and stick with it long enough and see the magic happen.

मंजिल उन्हीं को मिलती है, जिनके सपनों में जान होती है

पंखों से कुछ नहीं होता, हौसलों से उड़ान होती है|

दम मारो दम....

When was the last time you got high? well without drugs of course...

Confused? Call me a believer in myths, coexisting with mysticism or a creator of my own reality, but let me tell you my own sweet little lie. (Shhhh, it is still a secret which I understand is going to be published on the net but let's keep this between us) I can help you get high for hours without the slightest intake of any white powder.

Let's go on a wild trip out of the realms of this world. The drug of my choice and my poison is "white powder". Confused again? How can a Sufi (not the religious one but a Sufi in terms of drugs) talk about white powder. I am a skier and my white powder is snow B-). Imagine being surrounded by snow-capped peaks in -15 degrees Celsius. From the time you open your eyes in the morning until the time you sleep, all you see is white snow slopes. And in this environment, you get up early at 6am (I can understand the plight of engineers), tie your boots and prepare your skiis. You climb the slopes sweating like a maniac. And then comes the final moment. Wear your eye mask, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Feel the chilly air fill your lungs and with faith take the leap. You fly down the slope feeling your heart beating heavily out of your chest. The gush of air and "surreal reality" makes you forget everything else. You are in the moment and in a "high" of your own. You travel beyond the capacity of the human mind just to realise that you reached the bottom of the mountain within minutes. But these moments make you realise that getting high is not an escape but a way of living Life; extending your limits beyond the imaginable. It's pure Bliss.

I can show you another way to get high. Being a dancer, this is what I experience almost daily. Put a list of your favourite songs. Close your eyes and listen. Feel the music, sing the lyrics and pay attention to the beats. Tap your feet, slowly get up and move your head around. Don't think and let your body flow whichever and however possible. Just don't stop and keep dancing. A moment comes when you don't even realise where you are and everything else ceases to make sense. Dance like the mad hatter, do the "shadi wala dance" but just don't stop. You will be in a world of your own, a world of pure Bliss and happiness.

And for all the lion-hearted/brave souls out there with an adventurous itch, taste insanity; bungee jump, go cliff diving or the skydiving and the high will be incessant.

I am not asking everyone to be a skier, an adventure freak or a dancer. But I am asking you to pursue what you love to such an extent that nothing else matters. You will be in an eternal high, intoxicated, to be the best of your self. Forget drugs, you won't even have the time to breathe and think about getting high.

"Sing like no one is listening

Dance like no one is watching

Play like no one can beat you

Paint like no one can see the colors

Do what you love and

Love what you do"

Happy being HIGH ;-)